Explore Reality till you get calm, staying true through the course of the journey of life: it is a free film show. Keep an open mind and see where that leads to; do not fall into the trap of discounting the existence of a Personal God residing in your psyche as an extra element of your mental faculties. Do this until there is nowhere else to go and no truths to be searched and explored. It is an interesting way of living one’s life. Be intelligent through your exploration of Reality to find out what whether there is a Personal God or not. What do you expect from a Personal God should be part of the enquiry. What is Diviinty? Is divinity a personal characteristic or something that relates to another Entity that you might have access to, hence Divinity with a capital D. Try everything to get to the answers: all things that you can do practically to search out the meaning of your existence. Find proof of the existence of God before giving up. What kind of proof is proof? Do you know what you are looking for, in other words?
My personal experience is after chasing visions, dreams and utterances that I attributed 24 years ago to a God in my psyche is that when the truth-search is over, when you get there, your destination that is, you know because you become disinterested in life, so it was wrong to accommodate a so-called Divine. Or is that the meaning of life, to be disinterested in what is going on.
Consider that man invented God and in so doing led himself astray destroying lives in the process through conflicts to generate disharmony instead of common-sense solutions. Should a God have any responsibilities for what happens to humanity and the planet Earth, if He is truly the Creator. Or does He stay out of it and does not respond to bhakti and devotion to Him.
There has to be some benefit to oneself from a belief in God, a Personal God, only then can one formulate a religion to live to. Have you had any benefits from an external invisible source of Power and Guidance?
I was a mental patient for seeking God as the truth, going through intense phases of paranoid schizophrenia and persistent delusions for nothing material or spiritual so it is jettisoned now. For actions as dharmayudha that is part of the subservience to a Personal God, no matter how truthful one is, got me nowhere materially and there was no refuge for me in spirituality. I am ignored by the world at the age of 65 and 4 months for what I have done and written.
So I am done with being a secluded sanyasi dwelling in a Personal God and have become once again after a period of a decade to an advaitist now from first-hand experience of life not from following scriptures: there are no gods for me.