I live, i breathe my heart is pumping away. I can only sleep for 6 hours so after eating my food, having my bath and so on I have nothing to do. So I write what comes to my mind.
How much longer will this living go on. I have no purpose left in terms of material gains. It is purely spiritual gains that come to mind that I seek, God willing. This takes the form of expressing my truths. Hence I started writing this post ss I lay in bed waiting to go and pick up our daughter from the gymnasium.
I had a burst of diarrhoea in the toilet an hour ago that has left a bad mess for my wife to clean up and she being the perfect homemaker was exasperated with my bad health issues like this. I keep quiet but from time to time say to her that I should die to spare her more agony of having a decrepid husband. I helped her and did what she asked me to to make her day go by easier.
On returning home from the gymnasium my daughter said to.me that I should really take care of my health problems. That would be like trying to make the river of my life flow backwards from the ocean of knowledge from which spirituality arises back towards the mountaineous terrain of ignornce im its msterialism. This will disrupt the peace of my mind for I would be having to cope with falsehoods once again. Better to be in seclusion and avoid all sources of controversies in the material sphere of Reality.